the family that you choose – episode 55

the family that you choose – episode 55

The holidays are in full effect and for some people this can be the most stressful, drama-filled, non-peaceful time of year because of “family”. TK and Stacia talk about how we amount to the choices that we make. There’s family that we’re born into, and there’s family that we choose. It’s that simple.

They share some of their personal experiences with family during the holidays. They also discuss how people should be freed up to make the choice to choose the right people for building their family and community.

5 lessons i learned in the adventures of hypnotherapy

5 lessons i learned in the adventures of hypnotherapy

I thought I had the tools I needed. I had my journal, a plan to do lots of yoga, my doggy, and some time off work. But it didn’t work. The anxiety I’ve long felt during the winter holidays was there with a vengeance. I couldn’t stop crying. I screamed and yelled at my family. The stress wreaked havoc on my body. I was told it might be best if I don’t come home anymore. I wasn’t mending a broken heart, I wasn’t dealing with some big trauma, this was just my life. I was so sad and truly horrified with myself. And it was absolutely a tipping point.

4 lessons i learned prepping for my first bikini competition

For any of you who listen to the ‘everything i did’ podcast you know that I have been prepping for my first NPC bikini competition coming up December 12th. For me, this has been quite the journey as I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. Over the years I have done diet after diet that would result in weight lost and then weight regained.

this year i am thankful for…

Can you believe it’s November already?

Every year I feel like the holidays sneak up on me. But, there’s no denying it, Thanksgiving is here and the holiday season is upon us!

I struggle with the idea of Thanksgiving sometimes.

in my opinion, we should be thankful all year long

Not just one day of the year.

when it’s time to retire from dating apps

The past few months, I’ve been a resident of Recently-Single-City. It’s a tough place to be…back on the field after living the comforts of a long-term relationship. You forget how to be single; not to mention the dating scene is constantly changing and social norms may not be the same as they were the last time you were playing the game.

When I was finally ready to start dating again, joining a dating app was the obvious choice. I had done online dating before and had some success – my last relationship was not the result of online dating, but the few I had dated before didn’t work out for good reasons.

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proof that people do exactly what they want to do

Recently I was involved in a situation where I was counseling someone who was in a really self-destructing relationship centered around toxic stuff.

After speaking with this person several different times, I realized that almost nothing I was saying was truly being “heard” in any regard. The reason she couldn’t “hear me” is simple, because people do what they want.

She still wanted that relationship, even though she said she didn’t. She wanted it more than she didn’t want it.

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5 ways to avoid feeling like crap when the seasons change

At the same time every year, when the leaves begin to fall and sunny days are few and far between, I start feeling like crap. There’s no better way to describe it than feeling utterly crappy.

My body aches, I’m perpetually exhausted, I get headaches, allergies are out of control, and before I know it I’ve come down with something that knocks me on my ass for a few days. Without fail, when summer turns to fall and winter starts creeping in, I find myself feeling pretty awful most of the time.

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the one thing i wish i had heard during the transitions in my life

I spend a lot of time with students. College students, high school students, middle school students, you name it I spend time with them. Over the years I have matured since being a freshman in high school, spending two years at a community college, and then as a student in a university.

During these transitions I’ve grown to notice that I have influence everywhere I go. Especially around those newly graduated high school students who are fresh into college and totally lost.

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the life lesson from the seasons you can’t forget

It would be silly think summer will last forever because we know it’s a season. The seasons teach us an important lesson about life and constantly reminds us of this lesson.

That lesson is, just like summer, fall, winter and spring, life has seasons that come and go. Because we know this, we should remain aware that just as the seasons come, the season will go, so we need to be present and make the most of it, enjoy it, fully live in it, because it seems like we blink and many seasons have come and gone.

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3 ways to get good nutrition back into habit after summer

Summer is the worst for good nutrition.


If you’re anything like me, your summer schedule has been jam packed with vacations, concerts, social activities, hiking, biking, and more. When you’re always on the go like that, it can be challenging to practice good nutrition. For two reasons:

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4 lessons i learned prepping for my first bikini competition

4 lessons i learned prepping for my first bikini competition

For any of you who listen to the ‘everything i did’ podcast you know that I have been prepping for my first NPC bikini competition coming up December 12th. For me, this has been quite the journey as I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. Over the years I have done diet after diet that would result in weight lost and then weight regained.

Last year after being vegan for three years and then trying paleo, I realized that I had enough with the whole dieting mentality. Not only could my body not take it anymore, but I started to realize that mentally it had started to take a toll on me.


After making that decision I soon found the concept of reverse dieting and a few months later powerlifting came into my life. For anyone who is not familiar with the term “reverse dieting” it is basically just what it sounds like.

Instead of dieting you reverse the diet by eating more. The key is, however to do it slowly. So for about nine months that is exactly what I did! I increased my calories from about 1600 a day to about 3000 calories with putting minimal weight on.

Actually, the funny thing is that even though the scale went up a few pounds by the end of nine months I looked leaner. You see the goal of reverse dieting more or less is to restore your metabolism so that when you do cut back your body will respond efficiently.

Also, the cool thing is because your muscles are getting the fuel that they need, at times, people will drop body fat. Pretty awesome right?

cutting back

So after I completed my nine month reverse diet I made the step towards cutting so that I would be able to stand onstage December 12th. It has been 13 weeks now since I started my prep for my first bikini competition. During this process not only have I lost about 13lbs, but I have also learned a few things along the way.

4 lessons I learned prepping for my first bikini competition

1) changing your body does not happen overnight 

One thing I have been reminded of on this journey is that change does take time! There are so many diets out there that will sell you on the idea of losing weight quickly, but what isn’t often mentioned is that usually it comes with a cost.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I sent my body for a loop over the years as a result of doing diet after diet. I would lose the weight, but because my body was so depleted I would often put the weight back on and then some. It took about nine months to restore my metabolism, and yes it has taken some patience, however, it has been completely worth it! Not only am I stronger and leaner, but changing my body has never been this easy! Plus, I haven’t felt like I am actually dieting.

2) you can do anything you set your mind to

If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be competing in a bodybuilding competition I would have never believed it. Almost 10 years ago now I was about 80lbs heavier and completely out of shape. Not only that, I was incredibly depressed and often used food to soothe the pain. About four years ago I decided I no longer wanted to live that life so I did what I could to make that change happen. Now here I am in the best shape of my life and the days of emotional eating are long gone.

3) don’t let the scale rule your life

This has been the hard one for me over the years, but this journey to stepping on stage has taught me that you can’t define your progress by the number on the scale. I am now sitting at about 134 lbs and the funny thing is I am actually leaner than I was at 120lbs three years ago.

Furthermore, during this process I have seen my body change despite the fact that some weeks the scale did not move at all. The scale is a point of reference, but it is not everything.

4) you don’t have to give up your life to get fit

About five years ago, I made the decision to go vegan and I stuck with that lifestyle for about three years. During that time I became super strict almost to the point where I basically developed an eating disorder. I became so obsessed that if I ate anything that was not on the “do not eat list” I would have a meltdown. It made it hard to go out to eat with friends, enjoy food, and sometimes I would binge because I felt so deprived.

During this prep for my competition I have eaten anything that I have wanted. I have had cookies, pizza, french fries, and sugar. You are probably thinking that is the opposite of what you have been told and the truth of the matter is that if I only ate cookies and pizza I would not be able to accomplish my goals.

My diet does mainly consist of a lot of veggies, lean protein, fruit, and whole grains. With that being said I do allow myself on a treat on a regular basis. For me this has worked the best because it has been sustainable and I haven’t binged in over a year.

If you are ready for a change do it now!! I can’t begin to tell you how many years I put it off because I didn’t think it was possible. I have learned, however, that if you want change sometimes you just have to do what you can to go after it. Yes, change can be a bit scary at times, but it’s totally worth it!!

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you can do anything you set your mind to

You can do anything you set your mind to. – Davene Teeter

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